Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Coaches' Wife

Something I often struggle with is being a better husband, especially during football season.  Here was a good thread from the Huey board called Time Commitment to Wives/Girlfriends in Season that I enjoyed reading by Coach DiCocco:

1. If you can fulfill your film-breakdown responsibilities at home, then do it at home.

2. Have a "date-night" once per week. Whatever your day-off or early-night is, make that date night. Better yet, make it HER night... let her pick the dinner, activity, movie, etc.

3. Don't waste time at the office. Sometimes "staff meetings" digress into storytelling and reminiscing sessions... Keep in mind: We all have business at hand, and families at home. Do your job well, but be efficient with it and take care of your family life as well.

4. Make Valentine's Day a big occasion. Really. No seriously. Valentine's Day is the one day where football coaches reward their wives for putting up with us all through the football season. If you don't believe me, then why is it usually the week right after the Super Bowl?

5. Call your wife at lunch-time everyday...or if you can, try to have lunch with her. At the very least, pick a specific time to call or at least text say that you love her, etc. Make it a daily routine at a specific time. She'll look forward to it, and it will help keep you grounded as well.

6. If you and your wife work at the same school, or in the same vacinity: carpool to and from work if at all possible. This will give you extra "quality time" for conversations each day.

7. Make your marriage and your family a priority. Being a coach is a lifestyle, and it is one of the most important jobs you will ever have. But, being a Good Husband and a Good Father are THE most important jobs you have. Always keep your priorities right in life, and you will be alright in life. Remember also, that you are teaching your students and players how to be husbands. Everything you do and say in your own marriages, you are in some way teaching them for their future marriages. The same is true of fatherhood.

8. Invite your wife to Team Dinners and all games. Some staffs are real "families" and often have coaches' wives and children around dinners, events, games, and practices.

9. Make use of some great resources out there. The All Pro Dad organization and website are great resources, which offer tons of great tips and advice for being a better husband and a better father. Visit to learn more.

9-A. Also, read up on some good books. Texas high school coach, Randy Allen, has a great book with a lot of practical on-field and off-field tips. The book is called: "Coaching By the Book." It is available at

Also, the book "Playbook for Manhood" has a lot of great life-advice on being a good man, a good husband, and a good father. It is available on Amazon at 1&tag=pbv-20.

10. Have your wife reference some good websites as well. The American Football Coaches Wives Association is a great website, that has some really good articles for wives on what to expect from their husbands' involvement with coaching. Visit to learn more.

11. Always show respect for your wife's efforts and her profession. Be appreciative of what she does for your marriage, for your family, and for her own career as well. Sometimes as coaches, we tend to think that we "grind" more than other people and their lives/jobs... not always true. Your wife works hard, too... just in a different capacity. Don't make it seem like you work harder or more than she does. That will sow the seeds of resentment.

12. Keep your wife happy. I always tell my student-athletes: "Keep your position coach happy." "When your position coach is happy, then you're happy. If your position coach isn't happy... then he'll make your life miserable at practice." The same is true with your spouse.

Remember these words: "Happy wife: happy life." "Happy spouse: happy house."

13. Love your wife. Tell her you love her. Make sure she knows you love here. Make her a priority in your life. It's just like with football... you can talk about how important 3rd Downs are... but the real priority that you place on it can be found in how much time you devote to situational work in your practice schedule. Don't just pay mere lip service to your marriage. Make it a priority.

Some of the most important lessons that we teach as football coaches are the values of Commitment, Sacrifice, and Devotion. Therefore, be committed to your wife and to your marriage. Make the sacrifices necessary to preserve your marriage: keep it a priority in your life. Be devoted to your wife and be faithful. "Semper Fi" - "Always Faithful." If that saying is good enough for the Marine Corps, then it's good enough for any and every one of us. Be faithful to your wife. Always. Period. No exceptions, and no excuses.

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Here is another good thread link and Coach DiCocco has two good websites to take a look at:

Good article and video here on the Hudl site by Greg Nelson with Nebraska offensive cut-up.

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